Sensations
by peacock blue eyes
Summary: A mermaid is a creature of the sea and embodies it in all its enticing but deadly nature. Yet they,too, can be prone to feelings and Syrena learns the significance of them through the experiences in her life, particularly one with a steadfast missionary.
1. Birth

**Disclaimer**: I own _nothing_. Savvy? *then steals the franchise*

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Birth<strong>

She remembers her birth. Barely, but she does. Her eyes had not quite opened yet, still comfortably covered in sleep as her curled body rocked gently with the currents beneath the water. There were sounds. Beautiful, lovely sounds around her as she felt the presence of beings circling her form.

At once, a taint of curiosity to know, to _see_ what they were stirred her from her slumber. She raised her head slowly, straining to hear what she could identify now as singing. She does not know why or how she can recognize it as such but it is like the knowledge has been cradled in the deep chambers of her soul only to be awakened and brought to the surface of her consciousness when the voices graced her ears.

_Swish._

The sensation of something rushing past her caused her to recoil in fear but not completely. She could feel something soft coming in contact against her shoulders and bare back, floating in wild and slight disarray.

'_What is that?'_

The voice startled her for it was not the same as the ones surrounding her. It was much clearer, and tugged at the edges of the diminishing blackness of her mind. Then she realized that it came from _herself_ though she could not quite figure out how. These…words, she sees now, were her own voice. Still unuttered but undeniably distinct from the blurred ones that she was only beginning to distinguish. There was a sudden yearning, a need for her voice to join theirs as she did not know where she was, who she was or even _what _she was and that made her all the more curious to find out as much as it made her afraid of this awareness she has gained, this vulnerability to a world she has yet to understand.

The voices drew closer. They were soothing and gentle, like a caress encouraging her to break out of the invisible shell encasing her. She wanted to respond to it, the sound scratching up her throat to let out a cry and have them tug her out into the open so that she may finally know '_What am I?'_

But they made no other movements and she could feel some of them slipping away. Slightly alarmed, she lifted up her head faster this time and turned ever so little to the nearest source of heat she could detect. It was faint, the coldness of the depths enshrouding it mercilessly, but it was there. She could feel something flex and realizes she had limbs. Arms, fingers. They twitched and gradually unwrapped from around her torso, hesitantly stretching out to the empty space ahead of her. With that, she experienced the first instinctual kick of her tail as she swam forward awkwardly and blindly. She kicked again and again and again, with each one helping her quickly adapt to the strangeness she has woken to.

However, her eyes were still shut. She eagerly wanted to open them as the excitement roused among the ones who witnessed her emerging from her nascent state. She could feel hands on her now, touching her head, gripping her arms, pulling her fins. Some tenderly while others were rough as they guided her in an unknown direction. But none of them hurt her and because of that, she was not frightened by the strange welcome she was receiving.

Their voices were even louder now, but she still could not make out what they were trying to say. Immediately, she cried out, not knowing the reason why, but it rang clear enough for them to release her and swim a respectable distance away as she tries to wrap her confusion of the situation.

Then, slender hands cupped both her cheeks, the scales lightly scratching her skin, and turned her head to face their owner. She could sense the firmness as well as reassurance of the gaze of whoever was holding her. What's more, she felt a drop of warmth in her chest within that hold. A sense of belonging and a promise of protection that seemed as if it were solely hers the moment she was born.

"_Come now, open your eyes…"_ came the melodic voice, sweet and alluring with a hint of amusement in its tone.

She dared and did, her eyes squeezed tightly before blinking several times to eradicate the haziness of an infant's first sight. No longer scared so long as she could see what she felt with those hands and what they appear to offer her.

What met those fresh pair of inquisitive orbs was not the warmth she had hoped but an unfathomable darkness. Harsh and cruel and relentlessly cold, freezing all the fibers of her very being, burying it beneath its destructive waves and leaving it to be forgotten like the very nature of the sea itself.

And her kin smiled sardonically at her, revealing the sharp fangs behind those exotic lips.

"_Hello, little sister."_

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><p><strong>AN**: I think by now, everyone who writes a fic for these two have seen the movie already. And I need to see it again even though I only watched it this morning cuz it was just **AWESOMESAUCE**. The several flaws it had aside, Johnny Depp was wonderful as Jack as always, Penelope Cruz was absolutely stunning as a pirate, Ian McShane played the exact type of villain we need these days and did a splendid job, Sam Claflin was so adorable that I wanted to hug him and Astrid Bergès-Firsbey was just gorgeous. Oh, and there can never be another Pirates movie without Geoffrey Rush's Barbossa. I declare it. Nuff said.

Alright, so you'll have to forgive me for how awful this must have been. I haven't written a story in god knows how long so I'm really rusty on my techniques and stuff. This, however, I had to limit myself a bit since I'm writing from, well, a _newborn_'s perspective so I'm wondering if I made the right choice or not. You tell me.  
>I hope it will get better as we go along and by that, I mean longer chapters as well but that's a guarantee anyway since I can write a hurricane up if I wanted to…I wrote 15 pages for one chapter once. It was crazy.<p>

And instead of Philip and Syrena interacting straight on, I wanted to start with what I _envision_ as the beginning of Syrena's life and how she came to be different from her ruthless sisters. I mean, yea, she's still a mermaid who eats sailors for breakfast but I get the feeling she was still too young in the movie to know what it means to be cruel (or have and act on a full man-eating fish nature, take your pick). Which may or may not have been the reason why she was so drawn to Philip's rare kindness and his somewhat flowery language (I swear, he reminds me a bit of Christian from Moulin Rouge, kekeke). But yea, I wanted to see how this idea of mine formed on paper and this is what I'll be expanding on.

Not entirely sure on how mermaids are born, though, since I couldn't find any workable information on that so I'll just leave that up for you to interpret on your own. No, there were no seashells involved and yes, this will be written mostly in Syrena's POV since it focuses on "feelings". Emotions speak louder than words when it comes to mermaid interactions, I should think.

Right, so I'll shut up now and I do hope you'll give me feedback on what I should improve on if you're still interested in following this story. I have more ideas for PhilipxSyrena stories (cuz they are quickly rising up the ladder to my next extreme obsession) that I might work on sooner or later but first, gotta get started on a Blackbeard and Angelica one-shot. Cuz I'm a sucker for parent-child relationships in my fiction. Heh. :D


	2. Childhood

**A/N: **OMG, I cannot believe you, you…absolutely **AWESOME** people! Uwah~ Thank you so much for all your feedback and faving/alerting this story. I could really just propose to all of you now or something but that would be extremely weird and creepy and I know you want to read this new chapter as soon as you can so I won't delay you any longer. We'll talk at the end so please sit back and enjoy. ^^

**Disclaimer:** Don't mind this. Just read. :P

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><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong> **Childhood**

Not even two moons after she learned to flap her tail the right way, the baby mermaid was already expected to fend for herself. Her sisters' interest in her had switched to more complicated things she could not comprehend and no one was willing to provide her the explanations since she could hardly form intelligible words to ask, much less string them together in a sentence. More often she is usually ignored, the older ones figuring she is crying for attention that they cannot give her if she wishes to survive like the rest of them. It is not that they do not care for the addition to their clan but rather the opposite. It was necessary just as it was ritual for the newborn to see them for what they truly are the moment her eyes had first opened.

They are mermaids. Part woman, part fish. Their intelligence reigns supreme among the sea's many creatures, second only to the Sirens they serve. Their radiant beauty and bewitching voices are unrivaled and their greatest, most lethal weapons in their hunt for human flesh and blood. No man can resist the temptation that is a mermaid for when he lays his sight on her, every drop of lust and desire within him, however venerable his efforts to suppress them are, is easily coaxed out and soon consumes him entirely. Rapidly poisoning all his senses into euphoria till he is trapped so deep that nothing can save him from the chains of every fantasy he has ever dreamed of.

Then they would devour him greedily, teeth ripping at the skin, mouths sucking and drinking every ounce of his blood and he would scream in agony and terror when he abruptly wakes from bliss, his lungs deprived of air and his very life ending in the most painful instant a man can ever die in. The mermaids would smile in satisfaction, tearing and eating away till they left nothing but bare bones on the ocean floor. Gorging on the body of a mortal could not have been a more rejuvenating meal as consumption of one was enough to prolong a mermaid's life for years, giving her strength that will never deplete and ensuring her beauty will never deteriorate. For though they are believed to be immortal in myths, reality is not the same.

Mermaids also age. Not as fast as humans do but even they grow old. They do not weaken nor does their fair skin shrivel and wrinkle like a human woman's but they grow weary with time. With each day that passes, it merges into weeks and months and years and centuries until time is no longer discernable and she forgets there is such a thing altogether. Like the waves crashing onto shore and colliding against rocky cliffs, little by little, their sense of the world is worn away by the austere tides till nothing remains but the will to live, the small existing bonds of sisterhood, their pride and the song born from their non-immortal souls. Eventually, even those will fade and when they do, the mermaid will disintegrate back into the sea, her home and the closest thing to a mother she will ever have.

Yet this is normal for a mermaid. To live out to the end of her existence is considered fortunate compared to the many hundreds who have died prematurely either by too long an exposure to the excruciating heat of the sun or worse, at the hands of man.

Man. The mermaids viewed them as wretched beings. So shallow and petty are their minds and so arrogant in their treatment towards everything, as if every piece of the earth has been made solely for them. Men called them monsters, spurned them for their strangeness and demonic demeanor hidden behind those pretty faces, and driven them from their original habitats with threats of fire and metal countless times. As if they had no place in the world they think they have claimed with their stone towers and smoke-infested boxes and the few clever inventions that allowed them to only float over waters.

But men are so blinded by their egos, they forget just how pathetic and powerless they really are when pitted against the fury of nature. Until it is too late, until they become undone by their own emotions they thought they had control over, until helplessness is all they can feel and they meet their very downfall in their own foolishness.

A mermaid is not the same, _cannot_ be the same as man. She has no need for things such as feelings, things that can only hinder her survival. No, such things mean weakness and weakness meant death.

She _is_ the sea, callous and merciless and that is all she ever should be.

In time, the elder sisters knew, _with_ time, this child will come to understand all this and become what she is expected to inevitably become. For now, they are content to let her swim ahead in her curiosity and absorb as much as she needs to know before even that disappears from her.

She is already familiar with the vicinity in less than a week, clumsily bumping into reefs or her sisters as she moves along because she has not mastered the speed of her kicks or proper handling of her fins yet. Her voice continues to develop, now able to join in with the chorus of her sisters harmonically rather than being left out for sounding like scales scraping across rocks. She learned that the substance atop her head is not the same as seaweed and received quite a severe scolding when she tried to confirm it by pulling someone else's "hair". She spends the rest of her time blinking about, letting her fingers touch what they can reach. From the grainy sand to the slime smeared across boulders that littered their territory. Occasionally, she would see something interesting at the corner of her vision and upon closer examination, realize it was a seashell or some trinket she doesn't know the name of and pick it up to hold it in both her hands.

She would run the tips of her fingers over its surface, memorizing the lines and curvatures, taking in the different shades it was coated in with evident fascination. If the object pleased her, she would carry it around with her as she went on to discover more items that appealed to her attention. A notable collection spawned from her daily treasure quests and she soon found herself in need of place to store them as she struggled to keep them from falling from her chubby, occupied arms. She was able to find a tiny niche situated between two large rocks located far from where they slept and quickly hid them there before shooting off to explore again.

Her sisters, the ones still in the prime of their youths, would watch the youngest swim back and forth with amusement, sometimes conversing with each other on how adorable it was that she was so concentrated on her missions. How she was innocently unaware that they would poke through her stash of belongings when she was not there and take some for themselves if they fancy a certain coin or charm she acquired. But the best was when she returned, her head quirked to the side at finding her nook in a mess and less filled than it was the last time she saw it. She would not hear the stifled giggles a few feet away as eyes twinkling with mirth watched her, waiting to see a frown adorn those lips and her forehead knot in confusion.

Indeed, a look of bafflement would take over her face but no sooner had they seen it that it was gone in the blink of an eye. With a shrug of the shoulders, the child deposited what she has brought back to her spot that day and left, completely oblivious to the disappointment that decorated her siblings' expressions.

Perhaps, they surmised, her toys did not have as much value to her as they thought they would but that did not surprise them since material attachments were nothing more than trifles that would later be forgotten.

What they didn't know was that she took a greater deal of interest in her search for things she has yet to come across. Each new discovery she made and fragment of knowledge she gained would make her heart light up with excitement and she would be more eager to see what else was waiting to be unearthed by her next. Her sisters would notice the gleam in her eyes as she darted past them but they thought it odd how it didn't show anywhere pass those round, brown orbs. Her face would always be in the same impassive position, her mouth would barely twitch even when something sparked her awareness.

One day, out of a strong whim to know why that little face wouldn't budge, one of the sisters caught her by the tail and pulled her back causing the child to yelp in shock. The older mermaid let her go and quickly swam away out of her view when she turned to look at who had yanked her so hard that it hurt. Seeing no one there, the child blinked several times and turned her head from left to right, scanning the area for anything that she could possibly miss. Suddenly, she felt hands wrap around the sides of her face from behind. Those palms rested gently against the lines of her jaw as they tilted her head back.

Green met hazel, both in inquisitiveness but each of a different kind. As she stared up at her sister, the older mermaid observed her in silence, as if trying to decipher what secrets she might be keeping in the safety of her eyes. Noticing her sibling did not attempt to move out of her grasp, she smirked and let out a small laugh, the sound so peculiar to the child that it shook something within her.

Her sister leaned down a little closer, her grip tightening just a bit and emerald irises widening ever so slightly. Immediately, she was brought back to her first encounter of a similar gaze, frigid and deep and ominous. She could not phantom why looking into those depths had such a power over her. How she was incapable of speaking or thinking as she stared back in awe and let herself be engulfed by the intensity spinning within it.

The mermaid's smirk grew a little more as she skewed her head at an angle while keeping their eyes locked. _"Precious little thing." _Her voice was so delicate, like she was holding something very fragile. As if at any moment, the tiny mermaid she held in her hands would break if she said the wrong words. _"Won't you smile for your sister?"_ she asked, her tone filled with tenderness and affection that sent a tingling to her ears down to the pit of her stomach. But her face remained the same, blank and motionless. Her mind, however, was already swimming with the thoughts at the question and at the sensation it brought.

'_Smile? What is a smile?'_ she wondered. She has never heard of something like that before. And as always, upon hearing something she did not know about, she immediately wanted to find out what it was.

So she just stared back at her kin, eyes imploring her to explain.

They stayed like that for she did not know how long but at the lack of response she was getting, the elder one slowly dropped her grin, the warm feeling doused out with the coldness she was used to and she couldn't help but feel a pang of loss at it this time around. Hands released her and she hurriedly flipped over to regard her sibling with the same look, not wanting to let her leave without getting an answer first. Her sister stared at her with a frown and the tense hush that fell over them only increased her worries but she held still with patience. She _needed_ to know.

After a while, her sister let out a breath and relaxed. A bemused giggle escaped her, sending another ring through the younger one's ears, and now that she was upright, she could see the corners of her mouth turn upward. Was that it? Was that a smile?

The look her sister gave her was a condescending one but she didn't have the mental cognizance to identify it as such. Instead, she was too fixed on how she was able to do that with her lips that she didn't notice the older mermaid approach until she felt a peck on her cheek. She blinked as her sister pulled back, grinned teasingly at her once more and tapped the end of her chin up.

"_Precious little thing,"_ she repeated before she swam off, leaving the child no better informed than she wished to be.

It bothered her for a long while since then. Not knowing. The thought of not knowing preoccupying her mind that even her pastime of collecting colorful pebbles and knickknacks could not block it out. She inadvertently learned how to scowl that way but it gave her no comfort in that she still didn't have an explanation to what a "smile" actually is. So she discarded her usual routine and circled their seabed for hours, propelling all her frustration into her kicks till they've thrown her off course and she just swam and swam with no particular direction or destination.

When exhaustion finally hit her, she gradually came to halt and let out a sigh, keeping her tail still to rest out the soreness. Glancing from side to side, she realized she was no longer within range of her home and all that surrounded her was the quiet, open ocean. Despite the fact that she has ventured into unfamiliar waters, she was not worried because she can simply track her way back by sniffing out the trail she led from there and listening for her sisters' songs. But she didn't want to go back just yet. She was still aggravated over the nagging itch to understand and she knew that returning to her sisters will not bring her any nearer to the answers she wanted nor improve her current temper.

So she continued to swim steadily along, looking dully around at nothing but dark green space.

Then…something caught her eye. A glint a distance away. She turned towards where she saw it and cocked her head a little, wondering if it was just her imagination except that a second later, she saw it flash again. Her curiosity escalating, she drove forward faster than a crab can withdraw back into its shell. When she arrived at the mark, buried in the ground with only a handle jutting out, she was upset to discover it was only a broken bottle. But that didn't explain the glint it had made and she was sure it came from this piece of glass as there was nothing else out here for miles.

She cautiously reached out a hand to grab it, ready to pull it out but retracted when her finger made contact with its sharp edge and it cut her skin. Hissing, she placed the wound in her mouth before pulling it out to look at the damage. The cut was already starting to heal, squeezing out the few last drops of blood at the seam before it sealed itself up, leaving no indication that she was ever injured. It was not the first time she got herself hurt but she would prefer avoiding harm altogether as healing, fast as it is, takes up a considerable amount of energy. Now she was truly tired and above all, hungry. She decided to head back but felt something warm cover the crown of her head. It was coming from above…and around her?

Her hazel eyes widened as she found herself bathed in brightness. She peeked down at the bottle and sure enough, it was gleaming like it did when she caught sight of it a few minutes ago. A good amount of sand was swathed in the glow, too, as it seemed to come pouring down in thick beams, illuminating dust and particles that are otherwise invisible in the dark. Tentatively, she raised her head to meet the source of this amazing phenomenon and to her astonishment, saw the surface of the water for the very first time. She has never been up there though she was able to recognize it as the surface from her sisters' descriptions. It was like glass in the form of liquid and extended boundlessly to however far the sea could reach. Beyond it was something called a "sky", just as endless and expansive but of a bright blue hue and strewn by things known as "clouds".

The child bit her lip, a little afraid of what might happen if she were to go up there right now. Should she wait? Should she ask her sisters? She shook her head. No. She was through with waiting and being patient with those who did not care to respond to her. Without any hesitation, she pushed herself off the floor and rushed to the top, her arm stretched out ahead of her, more prepared than ever to move beyond the mundane days she's spent holed up at the bottom. Giving herself one last powerful kick of her tail, she shot through the transparent divide between her world and the next.

She felt a splash of wind, cool against her body and freshly seeping into her nostrils as she hung there in the split of a second, eyes swallowing the sight of the great heavens, ears soaking up the sounds of seagulls and mild movement of the waves. The smell, the noises, the _feel_, the _everything_. It was all there and in that moment, it was all hers. _Everything_ was all hers.

And it all ended too soon as she was sent crashing back into the water, mind still reeling from the experience and trying to sort it out as she placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart.

Was that it? Was that brief glimpse of what she could only imagine till now _it_?

Her eyes turned upward again. She was closer now, so close that if she just reached out, she can definitely touch that foreign realm again. Carefully, she advanced towards the surface and let her nose and then her mouth and then her eyes and then her entire head emerge. Droplets hung from the tips of her eyelashes and she brought up a hand to wipe them away, blinking against the rays of the sun shining down on her. She felt dizzy and without a barrier to filter the light, she felt the heat burn her a little more than she would've liked but regardless of the disorientation and the sting on her skin, it could not stop her from marveling at her surroundings. There was nothing but the rich vastness of the sea and sky, parallel to each other since the very beginning of time.

She breathed in the air, savoring the clear saltiness that was suspended from it like the white clouds she could see high above her. It was different from breathing underwater to an extent. Whereas the sea has a somewhat thicker and heavier scent, up here it was just…air.

Something pleasant started to bubble inside her as she lay on her back, staring up at the giant blanket of azure. It bubbled and fizzed and as it crawled up her throat, her lips twitched in what she felt as the strangest way until she could no longer keep them clamped together and a beautiful laugh burst out, sprinkling through the previous serene atmosphere in blots of happiness and joy, all fatigue and hunger forgotten. Her arms were thrown back as she kicked into a flip, diving down and jumping back out, achieving greater heights each time, splashes mixing in with this laughter that sprung from her like coral blooming from its crevice.

She laughed and she laughed and she laughed, drunk with delight she has never known before. And as she fell back into the water, clutching her sides and still giggling, she let her arms remove themselves from her abdomen and had her hands brush her cheeks. Try as she might, she could not push them down and when she touched the corners of her mouth, she finally, _finally_ understood why.

_This_ was a smile.

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><p><strong>AN:** Isn't a baby Syrena just so cute when she's high? lol

Hmm, yes, so first, I must apologize for the making everyone wait so long. However, please understand that while I try to get a chapter done and up as fast as I can, I won't do it until I'm at least 65% (or more) satisfied with it. I don't have a beta (is anybody interested in volunteering?) so all the proof-reading is done by my unreliable self and even when I update, I'm still uncomfortable with the final product if there are any mistakes I missed. So I will be looking for a beta soon if/when I have the time but until then, please allow me more time to check things over. Grammar, spelling, typos, overused words and phrases, etc.  
>I also want to give you guys the best writing I can create and seeing how I was born talentless (no really, everything here has been shaped through years of practice and critique, not talent), that extra time is necessary. Though the idea is there, words don't flow smoothly from my fingers onto the keyboard like it did when I was writing fanfics at the age of 13…and I was just an amateur who only glanced over a draft once before publishing it. Well, I still am an amateur but you get the point.<p>

Right, so now that that's settled, what do you think of the mermaid culture I molded? It's not exactly fully explained yet which I'll do in later chapters and I have to be careful not to contradict myself on these "facts" of the story as I refer back to them but I hope you have a good idea of what my version of the mermaids are like. Some clarifications, though, in case you're still confused:

- Yes, I'm going to assume that men are the ones at fault for making enemies with the mermaids in the first place, which could explain why they would want to drown them out of spite. Prior to that, I believe they were benevolent creatures that could have co-existed with humans but I'm not going to go into the history of all that cuz it will take too long for me to research and make the other half up.

- "Immortal" is not the same as "staying young for a very long time". The dictionary in my brain is adamant that the definition of "immortal" means that if I grab a gun and shoot some immortal person in the head, he/she will get right back up as if I hadn't shot him at all. It is a status equivalent to godhood cuz gods can't die. "Immortal" means you _cannot _die and in the movie, mermaids _did_ die. So they are not immortal. They are prone to death just like humans, they just don't age like humans do.

- My mermaids are born from the sea. They don't have mothers. If they did, then they would call each other cousins, not sisters. It makes sense, doesn't it? All share one parent and when they die, they return to their origins. *shrug* Of course, they can produce on land, too, provided they find a man to impregnate them but that will be discussed at another time.

Yea, key points for this chapter anyway. I'll do more footnotes as we go along.

Now, Syrena. I know it's strange to see her like this. It really is OOC but remember, this is her when she was still a child so she has yet to become the Syrena we know in the film. And since mermaids age very slowly and differently than humans do, well, she's got many, _many_ years to live through before we reach her meeting with Philip. Also, she may come off as a bit too curious for her own good, even for a regular mermaid but that's the trait I really want to keep in her. And you'll eventually see why.  
>I have to say I was really pleased with how I gave her a penchant for finding treasure. Perhaps it stems subconsciously from how she found those chalices so fast before giving them to Jack. Haha. But really, I don't think her curiosity is too off the mark. She's just a kid and what kid isn't curious at that age, eh?<p>

Her sisters may come off as mean but that's not true at all. They acknowledge each other as sisters but overall, the bonds between them aren't close-knit or anything like that. They aren't under the obligation to protect each other like human family members do and they "love" each other in a…um, shallow way for lack of better wording. That's why it would usually come in the form of teasing and pulling each other's tails at random like what that sister did to Syrena. They're more animal than anything so they're more likely to act on instincts rather than emotions.

Ok, yea, I talked I've talked enough. Sorry, I tend to do that a lot but now you see what I mean when I can write lots and lots of stuff, lol. So I will close my commentary for now but I'll be willing to answer any questions you might have so long as they're not asking for spoilers of future chapters. Or I can just explain them in the next chapter, that works too. On another (very) short note, I do realize the pacing is going rather slow but I ask you to bear with me for another *counts* 3 more chapters of back story and after that, I **promise** Philip will appear. Alright then, so please tell me what you think and thanks so much for reading! I'll try to work on the next chapter as soon as I can! ^^


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